Today is 24th June 2008. That means, there is 11 days left before the final examination. I am still struggling to settle up all the assignment, to prepare for presentation and try to submit before next Wednesday. I have to start do some revision for exam. Did I have enough time to cover all those subjects? Huhuhuhuh.. am I?
Month by month, days by days, finally I will finish my studies here so soon. And then, I will go to Kuala Kangsar for doing my practicum. I will allocate at SMK Bukit Merchu. This school is 3km from Kuala Kangsar town. I am start worrying about my practicum. Did I already prepared myself mentally and physically to face all of this teaching and learning in school? Did I really ready and willing to do it? While I reflecting myself back, I identified what kind of problem which I feel too anxious to faced off. I am to worrying that I cannot deliver well the content knowledge during my lesson in the classroom in term of not really fluently and proficiency English languages. Besides, I also worried about if I cannot answer the entire question asking by my students. Then, I keep asking myself if my student not achieve the learning outcomes, what the backup plan that should I do. And most of things I am feel scared if there are misconceptions when I tried to explain the content of subject to my student.
I always keep talking and discuss this problem with my fellow friends especially to Laurah. She is always be a good listener and very supportive. She always said don’t too hard thinking and being afraid of how I going to delivered. It is because there are many solutions that we can solve the problems. After discuss and when I look back to myself, first of all I must develop self confident. Besides sharing with other friends, I have to identify my successes. According to website which is forward by my friend trough email, the web state that everyone is good at something, It suggest the teachers to discover the things at which their excel, and then focus on their talents. If I follow this suggestion it will give myself permission to take pride in them. Try to give myself credit for my successes. When I following my passion, I will feel unique and accomplished, all of this can help build my self confidence. So that, I have be positive and fake it which long the same lines of smiling to make myself feel happy, acting confident might actually make me believe it. Pretend that I am completely confident version of them and go through the motions.
Then I must prepare myself how to face my student during teaching and learning session. Oh the practicum just nearby. I am still remembering last lesson about classroom management. From this topic, the teacher should able to monitor and guide the behaviour of a classroom full of students. Therefore, I have to plan how to make an effective classroom. I have to ensure I well-planned and implemented the lesson efficiently. I have to prepare and conduct the lesson well so that the student will be focus on learning session, the student will under control and not misbehaviour. I use to arrange and setting the classroom in term of to get students engage during learning activities. So that, I have to ensure that whatever have learned about classroom management will be apply and implemented during my practicum.
Besides being too anxious in teaching and learning, I am also thinking about practicum evaluation. I am too worried if I still cannot deliver well as I planned in lesson plan. How it can be if I still cannot manage well what going to talk about, how to start and so on. Sometimes once we know we being evaluation, of course we make preparation and hope can do well. However, there are a few such as me being too nervous and think what mark which I get, and become hire wire and cannot handle myself once stand in front and being observe by supervisor. For overcome this feeling, I think I should always motivate myself and reflect back how to make it smooth and so on. Sharing some ideas can build the best lesson plan. Then practice and prepared mentally and physically so that all the activities hands-on and minds-on will going effectively and the students will engage.
Been here for almost seven months, there are a lot of things happen in my life, trying to coupe the new things, trying to get myself in a new community, learns various education, learn how to accept and understanding surrounding people and many more. When I count back, there are sweet memories during my studies at UPSI. I enjoyed learning Physics and very excited to be a teacher even sometimes I feel stuck when facing a lot of assignment and need me to manage my time well. I am always motivate myself, to be a teacher not as easy people taught, this profession need me to scarify in a lot of things and situation. Once I achieved what I have planned, it was the precious moment to me. Then, I must keep on working hard to be a marvellous teacher.
This is my last reflective writing to complete my assignments for this subject. I hope I will keep writing during my practicum. At least I can share something from my deeply heart (sounds like my diary ya) what I feel, what I learn in daily life. I know that I will learn something new every day and find that exciting during my practicum. And if possible, I really hope my students to experience that feeling every day. And I will try making it real. I will make there have fun learning Physics. Heheh looks very excited right?
Then, this coming week is my last week for attending lecture class. After that, we have to prepare for examination. Ermm...I going to miss all of this. For end this journal, there are a few words for Dr.Nurul
Dear Dr. Nurul,
Since I went to your class
You give me new impression of Physics
You always helping, guiding and tutoring me
To clear up all the misconceptions
Making me go, after my dream
Teaching me to hold on
And be patience
From all of above
Thanks for everything
I really appreciate it
May Allah always be with you..InsyaAllah
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